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A March 30th Washington Post article by Yael Schonbrun, “Typecasting others and self as villain or victim can hurt relationships,“ explores how we often fall into moral typecasting in relationships—assigning rigid roles of villain and victim in couples’ dynamics. When we feel hurt or frustrated, it’s natural to see ourselves as the wronged party and our partner as the one at fault. While this response may be instinctive, it can also trap us in blame cycles that harm intimacy and prevent real connection.
The Problem with Typecasting in Relationships
As the article explains, moral typecasting in romantic relationships leads us to oversimplify conflict, reinforcing a fixed perception of ourselves as the victim and our partner as the problem. This pattern can cause relationship resentment to build, making repair and understanding even harder.
But what if we had a way to slow down, step out of these rigid roles, and actually hear each other?
How Imago Dialogue Helps Break the Cycle
Imago Relationship Therapy provides a structured couples dialogue process that interrupts this automatic typecasting and helps partners listen to one another with curiosity rather than judgment. Instead of reacting defensively, couples engage in a guided communication technique for couples where they:
✔ Mirror – Reflect back what they hear, ensuring clarity and reducing misinterpretations.
✔ Validate – Acknowledge that their partner’s experience makes sense from their perspective.
✔ Empathize – Tune into their partner’s emotions and underlying needs.
By slowing down and creating space for deeper understanding, the Imago Dialogue technique allows partners to move beyond surface-level arguments. Instead of reinforcing black-and-white roles, it fosters a more nuanced, compassionate view of each other’s experiences.
From Blame to Connection
The Washington Post article highlights how breaking free from villain-victim thinking in relationships is essential for healthier relationships. Imago Dialogue for couples offers a concrete way to do this—helping them shift from blame to mutual understanding and emotional healing.
Next time you feel stuck in a villain-victim relationship dynamic, pause. Instead of assuming, listen—really listen. Ask yourself: What’s my partner feeling? What’s their deeper need? When we slow down and truly hear each other, new possibilities for relationship connection and growth emerge. With the right tools, relationships can transform from conflict to closeness.
Want to experience this in action? Join us for our next Imago couples workshop or reach out to one of our certified Imago therapists today!
